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But there are some things that Jesus doesn’t do like take out the trash, rub my feet and you know the whole sex thing. You will find a man that loves you just the way you are. That gym membership was cutting into my fast food budget anyway. That would be easy, except that I’ve kind of always wanted to be more like Eve. Have you ever heard some ridiculous Christian dating advice? It doesn’t fit me very well and I don’t recall putting it on my Christmas list.

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But when it comes to breakups, there’s another phrase that rings true: hindsight is 20/20. I’ve been taking myself on dates—going to dinner or lunch by myself, or taking myself to the movies alone.