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Some people say, “Oh, if I’m not happy, my children won’t be happy.” But that’s not true.

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Not to mention, of course, the horror of wondering how this will affect your children. Look for someone who will not only help you process your heartache but will also help you understand how to establish new behaviors in your marriage that can benefit you and your husband. You may check my cell phone, computer, and bank statements. As angry as you are at your husband, remember that he is still your children’s father.

So if you do catch your husband cheating, what do you do? If you can get your husband to counseling, involve him too. He may be a fabulous dad or just a mediocre one, but they still need him.

With that discovery, it must feel like your entire world has come crashing to the ground. now he (your husband) can blame you (even if though that’s just a defense mechanism) rather than himself because your behavior has demonstrated that you’re an unreasonable, uncontrolled person.” This is a major upheaval in your life, don’t try to go it alone. However, there can be no reconciliation without genuine repentance. “Trust grows as your spouse now chooses to be trustworthy.

Then what follows is probably a combination of anger, grief, and panic at what might lay ahead. Find a counselor who shares your values and who understands that marriages can thrive after infidelity. Your spouse must be willing to break off all contact with the other person and devote himself to rebuilding your marriage.” Trust will not be restored overnight. If she sincerely wants to rebuild trust, she’ll have the attitude, My life is an open book. This kind of openness and recommitment will in time help you restore trust.” And remember, you can come back from a marriage disaster, even infidelity.

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