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I’m thankful for not having a topic but trusting that one will come when I’m ready for it. I’ve gotten really good at having faith as I get older.For example, I’d worry that I didn’t know how to write checks and that one day I’d need to pay bills and check-writing would be necessary. Plus, I’d been brought up to be a technical Catholic — that’s a term I just made up for someone whose parents did juuuuuust enough churchy things to prevent them from getting damned — so all that guilt and fear overshadowed the lot of it.Christine is beautiful, warm, and wants to get married. I felt she would do better exploring in-person--She exuded a warmth and beauty I sensed couldn’t be captured well enough online.

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Besides, many great people are too busy to spend a lot of time doing that online dating dance: all the screening of profiles, email exchanges, and in-person meetings only to find that they’re quite different from the person they portray in their profile. She radiated spirituality and she suggested meditation retreats, ashrams, healing groups, Esalen, “journeys,” But I’ve found—and there are many exceptions--that while many women who are “together” have a significant spiritual life, many guys who are deeply involved in such matters, tend to have, let’s just say, more than their share of issues. People who shop at Trader Joe’s tend to be careful about what they eat but also watch their budget, unlike at Whole Foods whose prices are astronomical and attracts more than its share of spendthrifts.

Christine has little income so she wants to find a guy with some money. Well-employed people tend to be too busy to do that. These are informal workspaces for engineers that have an alternative vibe. I feel she’d meet successful guys whose values aligned with hers by volunteering to serve at the registration desk or as a server at a fundraiser for a cause she believes in: environmentalism, education, whatever. Trader Joe’s also has that somewhat alternative feel that matches Christine, especially if she chooses to shop at a Trader Joe’s in Berkeley or Oakland (very liberal cities) rather than nearby Lafayette, which is moderate.

Then, when I was 14, I had a massive existential crisis. I firmly believe that whenever things get too dire — and they so fucking have, many times — that money will show up. I get a gift card for re-upping with Verizon, a freelance job comes through, I get some sort of rebate I wasn’t expecting. ) that includes intellectual and physical passion but is still realistic enough to ensure we both get bills paid, practice personal hygiene and keep the house from turning into a landfill. Get started even if you don’t have your entire course plotted yet.

Right now I’m trying to guide that a little more because I’m tired of just getting by — I’m ready to thrive. A few weeks ago, I did with Love the same thing that I did with spirituality so long ago — I decided to put it down for a while. I put on the purple peacock sneakers and take steps forward. If you were going to drive across the country and it was dark, you’d put your headlights on.

John Whelan spent time with the Rainbow Gatherings, temporary intentional communities practising the ideas of peace, love, repect and harmony, in 19 having originally gone to a gathering the Slieve Bloom mountains to cover the event as a journalist.