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Being a good and stalwart parent will bring you joy. When he arrived in his new country he said his phone and laptop had been stolen and I replaced them. There was always some emergency requiring my financial intervention. Finally, my family became aware of my involvement with this man and urged me to stop. Want Ask Amy delivered to your inbox for free on weekdays? DEAR S: You’re already doing an important thing to aid your own healing.

Dropping the pretense about your marriage, and living well and authentically will be the best revenge. Your choice to admit and then share your story could help a lot of people who recognize themselves in your narrative. Your online relationship contained many red flags: The sudden need to “leave the country” right when you were about to meet; the constant emergencies and requests/demands for money; roping other people into the scheme to put you on the hook for more; your family’s recognition and concern. One source where you might safely connect with others is

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