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Boyfriends and girlfriends have come and gone, but my friends with benefits have stood the test of time. That’s longer than I predict my first marriage will last.And while I can’t imagine being with my Cuba date “for real”—I mean, he’s a low-key homeless anarchist who once took me on date to his Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous meeting; there are red flags—I still value our relationship immensely.

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However…If you're in the category of male/female friendship in which something more could definitely be on the horizon, know that taking that leap of faith could be the best decision you'll ever make.

It might feel scary, and you might fear that it'll ruin the connection you already have, but the best – and easiest – relationships truly grow from friendships.

My challenge for this series has been facing 20 years of frustration to try and determine what the contributing factor pie chart looks like: How much of my inability to find a romantic partner (or partners) is straight up luck, and how much is something I can control?

In the year since Wagatwe and I started this project, I’ve recognized an important truth: It is the -romantic relationships in my life that have actually opened me up to the possibility of falling in love.

Things don’t simply work out because we’re good people or to balance the karmic scales.