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“We came out, a car drove up, called her a ‘n***er lover’ and drove away. She was obviously deeply upset because she couldn’t be seen as someone who was in a genuine relationship.” Richard Bashir Otukoya: “There was no, ‘Oh look at this guy, he’s got a job, he’s doing his Ph D.’ There was none of that.

It was just, ‘No, you’re black.’ That’s it.” Photograph: Dave Meehan/The Irish Times As someone who has suffered “subtle racism and explicit racism” all his life, the incident did not unnerve Otukoya (“That’s fine because then you know their intentions”).

“Our priorities all align despite our different upbringings and heritage.

That’s what makes it work.” The Cultural Divide When a white person marries a person of color, they step into a new world.

Their spouse knows how to navigate both the culture of their own race as well as the mainstream majority culture in America.